Emo Under Umber Ella.

Random. So I went on a picnic this weekend, it was seriously the most amazing time I've ever had in this city known as San Francisco so far.

For some reason, that Rhianna song has been stuck in my head recently.

Then on Monday I went to the long anticipated wedding of Daniel and Michelle. I could say so much about this, but I'm not sure where to begin. For starters, it was a very beautiful wedding. You could really feel the entire evening just filled with love, obviously between the newly weds, but for them as well. Daniel has a pretty supportive family. You can tell how close they are, which was pretty awesome.

Sunday I went to church and saw Christian crawl under the pews. I guess this weekend was full of thinking about this idea of love, marriage, and family. I think Jin is a very lucky guy. I read his blog about his first experience really praying along with Mary. I want so bad to have that in my life one day.

On top of that, he has a ridiculously adorable kid. You can feel there is a purpose or reason for his life. Here I am, chasing the silly green stuff and not doing a great job of it right now.

My boss once asked me what motivates me in life. I have no idea why, but I am such a victim of my personal life. Like, without it being good I can't function. I want to chalk it up and say that's who I am, but sometimes I think something is wrong.

I think it's this idea of marriage and unconditional love that eludes me and drives me crazy. I think this is selfish of me, but I feel like the best situation for me is to know someone loves me always, unconditionally. Obviously the reciprocal of that should be better, but something in me wants differently.

So yes, it was a good weekend. I am very happy for them, but there is some bittersweetness lingering on this lush pink tongue. In layman's term you'd probably call it a heart.