I have been busy distracting myself I realize. I make plans to avoid being alone, to occupy my time. I go out to not be at home. I do things so I don't have to think or confront how I feel.
Is this called dealing with it?
Why so melancholy I ask myself. I feel like I cannot walk away from what I know, what I have experienced and look at things the same way. I know this phrase is thrown around a lot, but how do you walk away from experiencing the love of your life like nothing happened. I dare someone to show me it is possible.
The greatest thing you will ever learn is to love and be loved in return. This quote resounds and echos in the hallows of my head. The key word here is learn. When you learn something it sticks with you. You are never the same for it again.
I know I have many years left in this thing called my life, but Katherine was the love of my life as I know it. To lose that, it makes me feel so cold and alone. How am I suppose to come to grips with this? Never in my life have I felt so lost.
So am I suppose to distract myself with good and bad company? Do I burry myself in work? I know doing the later will drive me mad, and doing the former will leave me feeling this way again in a few years.
Maybe our memories are designed to fail us. I hope so.
4 comments:
ur not supposed to walk away from love like nothing happened. you learn from it, you put it away and you don't make the same mistake next time. everything that happens in your life makes you stronger...if you're gonna go around quoting cliches then i firmly abide by: what does not kill me only makes me stronger.
yes, memories do fail us.. and what happened in reality gets colorerd by our current reality.
hang in there.
just one more day.
I agree with anonymous. But don't get jaded and don't be afraid to love again. Keep living and keep loving. It hasn't been that long and it does get better.
shake up your life and keep moving forward.
girls are a pain in the ass. hump em and dump em I say.
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