Black.

So my new color is black. Ok, perhaps not new. Maybe old color revisited. As the faithful may have noticed, the top bar is no semi black. I can't figure out how to keep this layout, but just change some of the colors. So, if anyone knows how. Let me know.

On top of that, I got a new black MacBook thanks to Katherine. I know, quite the present. But according to her, I will not be getting anything for the next three gift giving holidays between us. What sweetie. So now I am emerged in the mac world. I even got a free trial to .mac, but I can't stand the blogging templates. Moreover, since I'm not a mac user I can't figure out how to code it differently. Bravo.

Black car, black laptop, black desk, black speakers, black phone. It's pretty much shown that black is back.

In other news, I miss contemporary Christian music. I don't really listen to it much, but I really like to these days. I thinkt the last few months, I've gotten a bit distracted in this walk of mine. I remember it was so easy to put things in their right priority slots when I was working at Peet's. Like, it made life simpler. I don't think this is all in my mind either. Having a white collar type job, sometimes you forget where you could have been if somethings were just a bit different. I never want to forget that.

I don't want to forget how hard it is to get by. Sometimes I think I was at my best back then. And what I am now, is more like a shell of what I can be, should be, maybe was. I am very happy to be here, don't get me wrong. I know the financial security, or surplus, is definately needed to get where I want to be in life. Or is it? Sometimes I think I may have gotten that wrong.

Anyways, I feel myself getting more and more materialistic and I kind of hate it. Not quite who I am hates who I've been. Maybe who I am hates who I might become.

Maybe this introspective scolding is just my way of complaining. I wonder if people like me are ever meant to be content in life. Am I too much of a dreamer?

I remember in middle school, and even today, I liked songs that painted pictures. Or told a story. Something that could be visualized, if even it was just one line of one verse. If it painted an interesting picture, then it was good. Always imagining, dreaming. One day I will finish that book.