Sway.

Just a question to throw out there. Do you think it makes sense to bow out of someone's life because you think it will be better for them? To actually go down this road it takes at least a two step process. The first one, you are bad for them. You have to decisively believe you are not good for that person. Secondly, you have to have an overwhelming sense that you know what's right for their life.

Sorry, but for me right now at this point in my life, on this very date, I think for someone to do this with any true feely of being altruistic, basically on massive ego trip. What gives someone the right to determine what is good or bad for someone else?

And yes, I know parents do this all the time and with good reason. But if it's not clear cut, my question was asked in the context of a relationship based on a something mutual.

I realize this blog tends to be more on the emo side, but it's my blog so I can write what I want. Moreover, I tend to only write here when there's something in my mind. I don't know about other people, but I don't really swirl around happy thoughts in my head. They tend to just flow out and express themselves in smiles or at least the corners of my lip curling up.

I haven't talked, written, or really contemplated this topic in a long time, but I honestly think I am still angry about what happened. Not really in the actual occurance of the course changing event, but more of the ramifications of that. Recently I've come to realize I don't have a lot of close friends, especially guy friends. I have a lot people I know, a bunch of people I can talk to about surface level things. But not so much on the connecting on a deeper level.

The few that I have aren't really in my life anymore for various life reasons. Which to be honest is expected when you move. But I'm still in this state called California. I should know loads of people in my area, and on the surface I do. Seriously, the other night I'm at this restaurant/bar turn lounge at night. Out of the blue, I run into all these people from former days. I don't even go to these places regularly so it was pretty random.

I'm getting a little off track, but basically I feel robbed of friendships, good friendships that could have been. But for whatever insecurities were forced to play benchwarmer. Worse yet, it's never coming back.

No one gets their college days back.

Sometimes I wonder what the other side of the looking glass is thinking about all this.