In true historical and blogging fashion, the title has two parts to it. What I should really be doing right now is putting on my pants and getting ready to go to work. But, for some reason I just had an overwhelming urge, sense of urgency perhaps, to write something.
I really don't have much to write actually, but for some reason I felt I needed to write right away. There is this Norah Jones song called Nearness of You. It's a cute song. I'll be honest, I don't remember the lyrics off the top of my head but the title of the song leads you to imagine it's kind of cute.
My entry has nothing to do with the Nearness of You though. Not really. I just like to insert random works into phrases that I think sound cute or intriguing. In this case, I came up with Comfortableness of You. That's kind of a bulky and ugly sounding phrase. Perhaps that the intention.
I was thinking about this idea of being comfortable in a relationship. While, on the surface level I think it's important. I mean, you should be comfortable with the person you are with. Being able to fart in front of them or talk about really deep feelings. It's so important I think it's required. But, at the same time I think comfortableness leads to complacency. You get too comfortable to the point of no surprises, no effort.
Not to seriously beat a dead horse, but I think that is what might have happened with Katherine. I don't think I realized it at the time. I think about this now because I've been thinking about things in the now. People tend to have an idea of who they are, who they want to be. I have that idea, that vision almost. And it's not someone that gets comfortable to the point of complacency.
I know this sounds cheesy, but I've come to think the guy, on some level, should always be trying to impress the girl.
Well, maybe I'm wrong. At least partially. I just wrote that sentence, then had to add the on some level clause. It just make me think about reading Wild At Heart and what the book said. Girls don't want to be the adventure, they want to be along for the adventure.
So yeah, it's getting confusing now. And I should really get dressed and go to work.
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1 comment:
I don’t think that that’s what happened with Katherine. I think while you felt secure in you guys’ love for each other, perhaps she didn’t feel that unless she could SEE you impressing her or wowing her or going out of the way to make her feel special. I don’t think that can be the basis for a healthy long term relationship. That is so tiring! After the initial period, you have to get to a place where you can be totally comfortable and secure so that deeper things can be built upon that foundation. I’m not saying that no more effort is needed. I think healthy relationships always need effort from both parties involved (efforts to meet each other’s needs, efforts to share more experiences together, etc.) and also not to take each other for granted.
Of course my opinions of what happened are all from my observation as a third party, so I could be totally wrong, but that’s what I saw.
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