Rolodex.

I went to Target the other day and bought a rolodex. I'd been looking for one for a while. Not one of those that you spin, but the flip kind. When I had decided to give up and just buy a cardholder, I couldn't find a cardholder. I found a rolodex. How ironic.

In case you are wondering about the suddedn succession of posts, I was at work for the last one and it was getting late. It really isn't up to par, so I felt I needed another to redeem myself. At least in my own eyes.

Few days ago it was Mary's birthday. Being so, it meant it was someone elses birthday also. That same target trip I actually bought her a birthday card. But there was hesitation and it's now sitting my drawer. Seems almost like a fitting story.

To be honest, the reason I haven't written much these days is two fold. One, I'm busy. The other, I'm trying to refrain. I've had a lot of thoughts running through my head. Take a look at older entries and it's pretty plain where the train of thought goes.

But I don't want to go that far. I guess this goes back to the being who I really want to be thing. I want to be a gentleman and handle things with decency and respect. But even now I'm tempted to just come clean with some thoughts, especially about the decency.

I think I will end with one point. I always try and put myself in other people's shoes. It helps me understand what motivates them, and why they act a certain way. I want to assume for one minute that the roles were reversed. I know for sure that I would be known as that bastard from that point one.

In any kind of committed relatipnship, I think what other people outside think is secondary. No doubt, it affects you. But it should be secondary. Same with any post relationship. So future me, when you read this please don't misunderstand. I'm not calling names. I'm not shouting from the top of my soapbox. I'm just wishing she could understand that and convince me she does.

But there in lies the problem. Are both clauses even possible?