Used, Denial, Repeat.

What a trio of disturbing words. Perhaps it not all that bad when looked at seperately.

I've been thinking more than should be about things in my past. To be honest, I feel dirty because of it. I feel pretty used. It's a pretty crappy feeling. To consider the possibility you were there for a purpose, and then discarded when that purpose was no longer necessary.

I think used is one of those shades of gray thing. There are varying degrees. I've seen friends that get completely used, and I always felt sorry for them. But to be honest, it takes a certain type of character to be used by someone else. And so, I never felt too much empathy for them. I guess that is changed now.

What is denial? I don't think I'm in denial. The other night, she was sitting outside with me just talking about things and us. It hit me that there are parts of me that are still in a semi wrecked state because of what happened with her. Even now.

I was talking to a coworker. It amazes him my situation, on both ends. Perspective and point of view is everything when we look at subjective things such as life and love. But is it possible to find a perspective so blinded where you deny the truth, not absolute truth, of what really happened?

I read one time, there was such a need and desire to avoid an intertwined life. But I think as people are always bound to repeat our mistakes. I wonder if that is true.